“One Another”: 9 ways we can — and must — be the church

“One Another”: 9 ways we can — and must — be the church

The United States is one of the most individualistic cultures in the world, perhaps in the history of the world. As a culture, we value independence, individual freedom, being self-made and self-sufficient, and having a distinct, individual identity perhaps more than any other.

So what do we do when a highly individual-centered culture meets the highly community-centered one outlined in the Bible? The church, in the Bible, is not a building where people meet to sing songs and hear preaching, but a close-knit community that walked through life together, every day of the week. Fellow Christians were to share bonds even tighter than those of blood relatives. One person’s problem was everyone’s problem, and one person’s stuff was everyone’s stuff. The community lived and died together. They were to be united; they were to be like one body with its parts working together. Outside of maybe a few of our closest friendships, investing in other people to that extent is practically (literally) a foreign idea to us.

We’ve got our own lives and aren’t always interested in sharing life with other people we barely know and only see once a week. For many of us, “the church” is little more than a formal gathering done out of duty. If that’s so, we need to change that. That’s not what the church is meant to be. The church is not just about each of our individual relationships with God, and what the church is doing for me. It’s about the whole community’s relationship with God, and what we are doing for one another.

The New Testament is full of commands about what we are to do for one another, as brothers and sisters in Christ. Most of them are familiar-sounding verses to us, but if we take a look at them and really consider what they mean for us, I think that each of them will inspire some tough questions for us to examine ourselves by.

So I decided to do a search of all the times the New Testament tells us to do something for one another. That’s what the rest of this post is: a list of the “one another” commands, listed by the nine main categories I think they fall into, because these are the commands that tell us how to live in the kind of community Jesus meant for us to live in. If we are to be the body of Christ that Jesus told us to be, we must know and do these things.

A. Love one another.

1. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. – John 13:34
2. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. – John 15:12
3. Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. – Romans 13:8
4. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love, – Ephesians 4:2
5. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Romans 12:10
6. Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. – 1 Thessalonians 4:9
7. Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. – 1 Peter 3:8
8. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8
9. For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. – 1 John 3:11
10. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. – 1 John 3:14
11. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. – 1 John 3:23
12. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. – 1 John 4:7
13. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:11
14. And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. – 2 John 1:5
15. Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. – Hebrews 13:1
16. Greet one another with a holy kiss. – Romans 16:16, 1 Cor 16:20, 2 Cor 13:10
17. Greet one another with a kiss of love. – 1 Peter 5:14

Jesus said that the world would recognize us as his people by the way we love one another. Looking at your church community, is it obvious to the world that your community shows an exemplary love for one another? What have you sacrificed for others in your community lately? Whom have you openly honored lately? What has God taught you lately about loving others? When people look at the way we love others, would they say, “That person’s love comes from God?” Do we treat one another with genuine affection, or do we treat the Sunday morning handshakes as just a formality?

B. We are interdependent on one another.

1. so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. – Romans 12:5
2. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. – Romans 12:16
3. there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. – 1 Corinthians 12:25
4. Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. – Galatians 6:1
5. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2
6. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. – 1 John 1:7

Part of being a member of a body is that when one part is struggling, the whole body struggles. It’s vital to watch out for and help every struggling member of the body of Christ. Is everyone in your community caring for one another equally, regardless of social status or economic status or position? Who do you see that’s being neglected? Whose gifts are not being used? Whose struggles might be being ignored?

C. We serve one another.

1. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. – John 13:14
2. For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. – Galatians 5:13

God gives us everything we have not so we can use it for ourselves, but so we can serve one another. In 1 Corinthians 12:7, Paul even says that our spiritual gifts are given so that everyone can benefit from them. How have you used your gifts for the good of others in your church?

D. We encourage each other.

1. Speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. – Ephesians 5:19
2. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13
3. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. – Hebrews 10:24
4. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching. – Hebrews 10:25
5. Therefore encourage one another with these words [about being with the Lord after death]. – 1 Thessalonians 4:18
6. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
7. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. – Colossians 3:16

Often we use Bible verses to condemn and make one another feel bad, or we use them to win theological arguments. When is the last time you used the Bible solely to encourage someone?

E. We forgive each other, honor each other, and reconcile when there is conflict.

1. When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? – 1 Corinthians 6:1
2. Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. – 2 Corinthians 13:11
3. But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. – Galatians 5:15
4. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. – Galatians 5:26
5. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32
6. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13
7. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. – 1 Thessalonians 5:15
8. Hold them [your leaders] in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. – 1 Thessalonians 5:13

Personal conflicts within any family are inevitable, but in the church we must not let them fester. We need to reconcile with one another. Jesus placed huge importance on this, to the point of saying, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” We cannot worship properly unless we are reconciled to our brothers and sisters. Whom are you holding a grudge against in your church, even a small one? Whom do you not like to be around, that you’re just put off by? Whom have you personally wronged in the past that you’ve never reconciled with?

F. We welcome each other and accommodate each other’s weaknesses.

1. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. – Romans 14:13
2. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. – Romans 15:7
3. So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another- – 1 Corinthians 11:33
4. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. – 1 Peter 4:9

When someone new walks into a church, the first thing they are usually wondering is, “Who will introduce themselves to me? Will I be welcomed into the community? Or will everyone just keep hanging out with their friends, satisfied in their little groups with no room for me?” Far too many people find that the answer to that last question is yes. Who is going to your church and is not included in any of the groups? Who slips in and out without ever being greeted? It’s our job to find these people and make sure they are part of the community. And it’s our job to make sure that, whatever their struggles, they know they are loved.

G. We put others’ needs above ourselves.

1. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21
2. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4
3. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as that of Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. – Philippians 2:5-7
4. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” – 1 Peter 5:5

So often we put our own preferences, whether it be from the color of the carpet to the style of worship to the style of preaching, above everyone else’s. If it’s not the way we want it, we may either complain or leave. That’s not the attitude the Bible says we should have. Our needs do not take precedence over everyone else’s. We work together to meet the needs of each other, putting others first, and if our community is working as Jesus said it should, they will do the same for us.

H. We leave the dishonest, worldly ways we used to live behind, together.

1. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. – Ephesians 4:25
2. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices – Colossians 3:9
3. Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. – James 4:11
4. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! – James 5:9

We are often used to interacting with other people in worldly ways. We stretch the truth to make ourselves look good, we talk badly about others behind their backs, we judge one another to make ourselves feel better, and we complain about how other people are just so stupid or incompetent or terrible. That’s not the way the church works. We talk to one another. We reconcile conflicts. We don’t gossip or slander others. When that starts happening in the church, it’s always the beginning of fracture. We don’t interact with our brothers and sisters in Christ the way the people of the world interact with each other. We interact as Christ interacted with others.

I. We trust each other.

1. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16

Is there someone in your church that you trust enough to confess your sins to, and talk about your struggles with? Is there anyone in your church you observe that almost certainly does not have anyone like that? Whom can you form a relationship with that you can trust? Whose trust can you earn?

When I measure myself against the standards of these verses, I don’t think I come out looking very good. Nevertheless, doing these things is what it means to be part of the body of Christ, and if we want to have eternal life, then that means being part of the body of Christ and associating with the people in it. We spend eternal life with God and with God’s people. This is a practice run. We should get into these habits of the kingdom of God now.